Early Thanksgiving Turkey SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS

He's the Jolly Old Elf in a red suit!
They are BIG Green Men from Mars with an even BIGGER robot!
Before Tim Burton's The Nightmare Before Christmas, they were the ingredients for the weirdest Christmas movie ever!

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians was filmed in 1964 in that bastion of cinema, Long Island, New York (in an unused aircraft hangar).
Starring a host of tv and b-movie actors including handsome-but-stiff Leonard Hicks as the good Martian leader Kimar, 60s villain/voiceover artist Vincent Beck (who did lots of work for Irwin Allen's sci-fi shows) as the film's mustache-twirling Martian villain, Voldar, and John Call as a pretty damn convincing Santa Claus, the flick is touted these days as the debut of future talentless chantuse Pia Zadora as Martian Kid Girmar. (Thankfully, she has rather limited screen time.)

The plot's pretty simple.
The children of Mars are in a funk.
The adult Martians deduce it's due to the childrens' strict and sterile upbringing, and that to "normalize" them, the kids must have fun!
And what could be more fun than celebrating Christmas?
But, to do a proper Christmas, you need a Santa Claus!
Thus, the Martians journey to Earth to kidnap Santa Claus and force him to create a Christmas celebration on Mars!
Then, as they say in TV Guide, hilarity ensues! (well, sorta)

As an example of low-budget filmmaking, it's actually pretty effective.
Every penny (what few of them they had) is up on the screen.
The costuming and Santa's Workshop and Mars sets are as good as those of tv shows of the period.
(The Martian robot is probably the weakest element from a design and execution standpoint, but nobody's perfect!)
There's extensive use of stock footage (from Dr. Strangelove, no less).
And, the idea to utilize the then-popular Wham-O Air Blaster toy guns as Martian weapons was either a stroke of marketing genius or clever use of limited funds. Either way, sales of the guns shot thru the roof after the film hit the kiddie matinee circuit!

If you're between 3-9 years old, the flick's a lot of fun.
If you're between 10 and whatever the local drinking age is, it'll drive you nuts, especially the theme song!
If you're over the local drinking age, do so before watching! It's available on a host of public domain dvds as well as one of the Mystery Science Theatre 3000 snarkfests.

And you just knew we at Atomic Kommie Comics™ were going to include Santa Claus Conquers the Martians in our Cool Christmas collection on stuff including kid and adult sweatshirts, hoodies, mugs and coasters, tree ornaments, throw blankets and snugglies, and greeting cards!
BTW: The image is from the comic book tie-in. There was also a 45 single of the theme, a spoken-word LP album of the movie's dialogue, and a novelization, all of which are HTF and expensive when you do find them!
Now I can't get that damn theme our of my head..."Hoo-ray for Santy Claus..." AARRRGGGHHH!

FREE: a couple of early holiday gifts from us to you:
LINK to the suprisingly well-done comics adaptation of the movie!
LINK to a download the film itself in various formats!
Now it can drive YOU nuts, too!

Reading Room THE FIRST SPACESHIP

Here's a curious, never-reprinted, one-shot...

..."based on scientific facts from the Hayden Planetarium" as well as the plot of the then-current movie Destination Moon, whose comic adaptations (yes, there were two of them) can be found HERE and HERE.

From Harvey's Flash Gordon #1 (1950), writer and artist unknown.

G-Men, T-Men & Spies Lurk under the Christmas Tree!

In our continuing quest for cool Christmas presents for the pop culture aficionado in your life, we at Atomic Kommie Comics™ wish to offer you yet another exciting possibility for gift-giving...Secret agents have been a part of pop culture for centuries, but spying didn't really become a glamorous profession until World War I.
Since then, the image of the spy has been of a heroic figure fighting off foreign evildoers while holding a girl in one arm and a martini (shaken not stirred) in the other...
In that stylish vein, we offer a line of collectibles that present our government's heroic G-Men, T-Men & Spies on classic comic covers in our Crime & Punishment™ collection.
Note: "G-Men" is slang for "Government Men" or F.B.I. agents. "T-Men" were Treasury agents.
Protecting us from threats both internal and external, these brave fictional American men (and women) fought enemies ranging from Communists, to the Mafia, to Iranians (perceived as a threat even in 1955!), and looked good doing it! (The most famous spy in fiction, James Bond, isn't American! He's a member of MI-6, the British Secret Service!)
Choose from 9 different designs including Cloak & Dagger, Date with Danger, Atomic Spy Cases, Al of the F.B.I. (later Al of the Secret Service), T-Man, and GangBusters!
Make it a Merry Christmas for your loved one...and the entire Free World!

Reading Room "The World You WILL Live In!" Part 4

Let's take one final look at this never-reprinted series from 1950...

Of the five predictions in this one-pager from Harvey's Flash Gordon #4 (1950), the first is a possibility, the second and fifth have yet to occur, and the third and fourth have come true.

Both the artist and writer are unknown.

This was one of three different new one-page features that appeared in all four issues of the series which reprinted the classic Flash Gordon Sunday newspaper strip by Alex Raymond, reformatted for the comic book page, and with new covers (not by Alex Raymond).
The others were "Stories Behind the Stars" (about the myths behind constellation names) and "Know Your Planets" (about the other worlds in the solar system).

Reading Room RADIO BOY Conclusion

When Last We Left the Tiny Robot Hero...

What do you do when giant monsters attack?

If you're the Electric Patrol, tasked with guarding the globe, you throw up your hands and call upon that tiny triumph of technology, Radio Boy!

Eclipse's never-reprinted Radio Boy #1 (1987) one-shot is loosely-based on Osamo Tesuka's Astro Boy, which had achieved success as a translated anime in the early 1960s and opened the door for a flood of Japanese cartoons on American TV that continues to this day.

Note: Though Astro Boy is best-known in the US as a tv cartoon series, it began as a wildly-successful manga in 1954.

The premise of Radio Boy is that the creator himself did the translations for this American edition, resulting in a mish-mash of syntax and tenses as well as some literal translations of Japanese phrases.

As a collector of foreign videos (including Japanese and Chinese DVDs), I can attest that the English subtitles on them often do read like the captions and copy in this spoof.

I suspect writers Chuck Dixon (yes, that Chuck Dixon) and Jim Engel had also seen some mis-translated films/videos, and wanted to re-create the experience on the printed page.